“We know Christians don’t have vaginas right?”

:Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues in her talk at Stanford

This one is a classic… but I still like it…..

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline

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If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have

short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.

“I’d lean my head against the window, but you are warmer.”

:One very drunk female friend to another male friend of mine while I’m driving them back home from a night out in the city (San Francisco).

“A picture is worth a thousand words, that means that video is 30,000 words per second.”

:Marc Davis in his talk about Computational Media as part of my HCI Seminar class

If our minds were so simple that we could understand it, then we would be too simple to understand it.

:As quoted by Sendry in my Psych class on Emotion, making the point that Psychology is a recursive subject — we are using our brain to try and understand how our brain works.